Reflections on Trinity in Everyday Life – Trinity Sunday

“I wonder if he’ll accept my friend request,” I said to myself after clicking on that wonderful add-as-friend button on Facebook. I’d only met him once, and even though we had almost 50 friends in common, I wondered if he would remember me and want to be my friend. Seriously, when you have thousands of friends on Facebook – what’s one more? Then my mind started envisioning that he was just too busy to respond to friend requests and certainly too busy to respond to my personal message that I sent with my friend request – I don’t request to be friends with famous people unless I have met them and had a conversation with them.

"With God, All Things are Possible" Gye Nyame - Painting by Andrea Gladen

Whenever I met new people or request new friends on Facebook, for some reason I expect rejection. Even though I may be able to come up with rational and logical reasons why I might be accepted, emotionally I default to the expectation of rejection. So, I asked myself why? I did not ask this in isolation – though conversations between me, myself and I can be very engaging – I invited the holy Trinity to join me in this quest of self-discovery. This has become a spiritual discipline for me – it’s my personal variation of Healing of Memories, Theophostic Prayer, Victory over the Darkness, and Inner Healing. Jesus promised the Holy Spirit would lead us into all truth, and one place I need to know the truth is in my inner being. As David declared, You desire truth in the inward being; therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart. (Psalm 51:6) I am confident it was the Holy Spirit that opened my eyes to see this pattern of expecting rejection. So, I set aside some time to process in prayer.

During my focused prayer time, I asked the Holy Spirit to remind me of other times I have feared or experienced rejection. It didn’t take long for me to get to some root emotional memories – my junior high and high school years were fraught with rejection, and what seven year old hasn’t felt some sort of rejection when their parents divorced? As I faced the painful memories, I realized my default mode of expecting rejection was based on a greater fear of being unlovable. I wept and the Holy Spirit comforted me. In that place of brokenness I confessed my fears, and confronted the darkness in my heart – the hatred and anger towards the people who had rejected me and hurt me over the years. As I confessed my sin, I asked Jesus to help me get rid of the hatred and anger in my heart – for I am confident that the blood of Jesus cleanses me from sin (1 John 1:5-10). This cleansing from sin is not just so that I will go to heaven when I die, but so that I will be able to live in loving relationship with God and others. “The real issue in atonement is a broken family relationship”1 and there is reconciling power not only in the blood shed on the cross, but also in the resurrection. We are united with Christ so that we can walk in newness of life in loving relationship with God and others here and now – not just in some by and by. (Romans 5-8)

Whenever I confront fear, I know the greatest power to overcome that fear is God’s love. (1 John 4:8) The cleansing blood of Jesus reminds me of God’s love, and as I opened the eyes my heart to see how God thought of me, I pictured myself sitting in his lap – just like I used to do with my earthly father. This picture of the Father’s love for me was affirmed recently through a word from a sister who was praying for me one Sunday. She saw God the Father holding me on his lap with his loving arms around me, singing over me, “Do not fear for I am with you, be not anxious for I am your God, I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will hold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10) Whom shall I fear when I am accepted in the beloved heart of God?

This image reminds me that I am God’s child – my Heavenly Father will never leave me or reject me for I have been chosen by God and adopted as His child. (John 1:12, Ephesians 1:3-8) Another time, when I was worshiping in song,, I closed my eyes and imagined Jesus running toward me – like in those cheesy love story scenes where two lovers are running across some distance and when they embrace they dance around in sweet abandon. That image reminded me that Jesus is the lover of my soul and my Maker is as a husband to me. (Isaiah 54:5) God often reveals himself to me in personal ways through my imagination. “God is closer and more intimate to us than we allow ourselves to believe. … It is the essence of God that he go out from himself and overflow for the sake of others.”2 This experience of Trinity – the God in three persons acting in concert – is just the kind healing balm I continue to need when tempted to fear rejection.

The purpose of the Trinity interacting with me in such a personal way is not just for my benefit, but for the sake of others and for the sake of revealing himself to the world. Jesus said they will know we are his disciples by our love for one another. (John 13:34-35) I find it very difficult to love others when I am living in fear and harboring hatred in my heart. “God is faithful Father, serving Son and enlivening Spirit. Himself existing in community, God wants to establish community among us. Church and family can be expressions of God’s nature, of his love of open friendships, caring relationships and inclusive communities.”3 When we live in loving and accepting community with one another, we are reflecting the divine nature to the world around us. “Because God is a plurality in unity, the ideal for humankind does not focus on solitary persons, but on persons-in-community. God intends that we reflect the divine nature in our lives. This is only possible as we move out of our isolation and into godly relationships with others. Consequently, true Christian living is life-in-relationship or life in community.”4

When I remain in fear of rejection and fear that I am unlovable, I tend to isolate myself and disengage from community, fearing my heart can’t take one more rejection. But God is greater than my heart, and even though my heart may fail, I will choose to trust in God as the strength of my life to face and overcome my fears. (Psalm 73) I am thankful for my many friends, not just on Facebook and other online communities, but my neighbors and my friends at church who help me experience the fullness of God’s love. Together, I hope we can show the world what we mean when we say, God is love. (1 John 4)

1 Larry R.Shelton, Cross & Covenant: Interpreting Atonement for 21st Century Mission (Paternoster, 2006), 32.
2 Clark H Pinnock, Flame of Love: A Theology of the Spirit (Grove, IL: Intervarsity Press, 1996), 44.
3 Clark H. Pinnock, Robert C Brow, Unbounded Love, (Eugene, OR: Wipf & Stock,1994), 47.
4 Stanley J Grenz, Created For Community, (Grand Rapids: BakerBooks, 2004) 51.

MAML and GMLDMIN @ Seminary

September of 2007 I started grad school at George Fox Evangelical Seminary. I started out part time to test the waters and see if I could handle going to school with four kids still at home. I took what George Fox calls hybrid classes, where weekly class work is performed in an online environment with an all day Friday/Saturday classroom intensive scheduled sometime during the semester. I thoroughly enjoyed learning the hybrid way, but was planning to enter the traditional MDiv program taking up to 10 credit hours of classes offered in one day, commuting on the train down to Portland from Seattle on Sunday evenings, taking classes all day Mondays, and returning home Tuesdays. While I was testing the waters I heard about another degree program that was based on the hybrid model of learning with the added element of learning with a cohort.

Evangelism Book Idea

Recently I had a conversation with an editor who rejected my book proposal. It was not as depressing as it could have been. But, the bottom line is that books on Evangelism just aren’t the biggest sellers out there. So, I’m scrapping my book idea on Evangelism.

For those who may be disappointed by this – even if it is only a few of you – I wanted to let you know that I will be writing on the topic, just not for the purpose of a book. I plan to continue writing and try to get articles published. Recently, I published some of what I had written for the book proposal on the Deep Church blog (I am a guest author there now, blogging about once a month) and the article got picked up by Doable Evangelism as well. If you are not a regular reader of those blogs, I encourage you to check them out and join the conversation.

If you are interested in this topic, I’d love to hear from you. Please comment here after reading the chapter summary I worked up for my book proposal and vote on which topic you would like to hear more about next.

Doubts and Mistrust

Doubts and mistrust are the mere panic of timid imagination, which the steadfast heart will conquer and the large mind transcend. -Helen Keller

When it comes to having seen Jesus in the flesh, I am blind – I have not seen Jesus, I have not put my finger where the nails were. But yet, I believe. One of my favorite resurrection stories is from the end of the Gospel of John Chapter 20 (The Message)

Later on that day (Resurrection Sunday), the disciples had gathered together, but, fearful of the Jews, had locked all the doors in the house. Jesus entered, stood among them, and said, “Peace to you.” Then he showed them his hands and side.

The disciples, seeing the Master with their own eyes, were exuberant. Jesus repeated his greeting: “Peace to you. Just as the Father sent me, I send you.”

Then he took a deep breath and breathed into them. “Receive the Holy Spirit,” he said. “If you forgive someone’s sins, they’re gone for good. If you don’t forgive sins, what are you going to do with them?”

But Thomas, sometimes called the Twin, one of the Twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. The other disciples told him, “We saw the Master.”

But he said, “Unless I see the nail holes in his hands, put my finger in the nail holes, and stick my hand in his side, I won’t believe it.”

Eight days later, his disciples were again in the room. This time Thomas was with them. Jesus came through the locked doors, stood among them, and said, “Peace to you.”

Then he focused his attention on Thomas. “Take your finger and examine my hands. Take your hand and stick it in my side. Don’t be unbelieving. Believe.”

Thomas said, “My Master! My God!”

Jesus said, “So, you believe because you’ve seen with your own eyes. Even better blessings are in store for those who believe without seeing.”

Jesus provided far more God-revealing signs than are written down in this book. These are written down so you will believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and in the act of believing, have real and eternal life in the way he personally revealed it.

Even after believing and celebrating Easter for almost my entire life, there are still days when, like Thomas, I have my doubts. Today I choose to conquer those doubts and trust in a reality that transcends what I can touch, see or feel. That reality is the kingdom of God.

Time to Write

Last weekend I got some time away from the normal rhythms and routines of my life to work on some writing. I updated my Evangelism book proposal and started working on a new book proposal at the urging of one of my friends. I’ll write more about my new book proposal as soon as I get more developed.

I had coffee with Jason Clark last weekend as he was in Portland teaching at George Fox. We talked about life and church and writing. Jason has asked me to guest blog on Deep Church. So many of my blogs last year were inspired from the work I was doing for Jason’s Missional Ecclesiology class. While I learned a lot from him, I still have so much to learn so I sat in on his class for a few hours last weekend for a refresher. It was refreshing. I especially enjoyed hearing him pronounce Greek terms with a British accent.

Currently, I’m very busy working for Todd Hunter. He is getting ready to launch an exciting church planting order on the west coast called Churches for the Sake of Others (C4SO) and I am thrilled to be a part of it. My involvement is mostly in helping to develop Todd’s web presence, but I am also considering joining as a church planter someday. I am in the discernment process right now. The C4SO website it scheduled to go live on Tuesday.