How to and How Not To…

November 11, 2011 at 1:02 pm

Braces and bandanas adorned my oldest daughter during much of her sixth and seventh grade years. She has the most amazingly beautiful curly red hair, but try telling that to a budding adolescent with metal on her teeth. As with all first-born children, we learn how to be parents with them and make most of our mistakes with them. I learned from my first attempt at having a talk with her about sex that I didn’t want to be unprepared this time. My strategy is to go on a mother-daughter “junket,” as my husband calls them, and talk with them about the birds and the bees before they get the sex-ed classes at school, and then to have another “junket” when they hit the teens to talk about purity. As I was planning the purity talk getaway with my oldest daughter, I was also planning the birds and the bees getaway with my second daughter – which inspired the working title for my book.

Standing around the kitchen counter and looking at the calendar, we were trying to sort out the craziness of our schedules now that school had just started. And not only school, but the beginning of birthday season – my third daughter had already turned 9 in June, my fourth was turning 7 in September, my first was turning 13 in October and my second, 11 in November. Looking at the school calendar, there were a couple of long weekends we could take advantage of for our trips – I had found some great fall deals at a lovely resort in Canada, and the exchange rate was quite favorable. As I was marking the calendar for our special trips, my second daughter piped up, “So, when we’re 11 you tell us how to do it, and then when we are 13 you tell us how not to?” Ah, out of the mouths of babes. She always has been the smart-ass one, I mean, the smart one…

My oldest daughter filled the kitchen with her infectious laughter as we affirmed her sister’s thesis – from then on, our little junkets would be called the “How To Talk” and the “How Not To Talk.” I’m still trying to figure out what to call our last junket before they go off to college.

While I was more prepared for the “How Not To Talk” with my oldest daughter and was getting more prepared for the “How To Talk” with my second daughter, I still have much to learn.


Entry filed under: creativity, faith, human nature, relationships, sexuality, writing.

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